Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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