I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
