If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
