Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nutella sex= disaster
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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