Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
