Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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