im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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