I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
