you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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