this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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