So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
