she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
