Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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