tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
