OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
