It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
