he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
