So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
