therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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