I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
