I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
