I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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