somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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