Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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