She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
