i just wanna soil my oats bro
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
