i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
