Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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