I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
