your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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