Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This is my gift to your gina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
