Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
