Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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