whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
