you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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