Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
