I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
