You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
