WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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