Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He better not be in your backpack
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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