I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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