He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
