you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
