gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
