I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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