I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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