Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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