Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
