Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
