At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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