Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
