Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
